Why I Believe...My Conversion Story

I am a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I have been a member for 35 years. I didn't start out a "Mormon", I became one. It was a slow process for me but well worth it.
I met my husband, Brian, 38 years ago, in Washington, D.C. I was 21 years old. He was the first Mormon I had ever met. Up until then I had had a total immersion experience in Catholic schools. I think I studied Religion almost everyday of my school life in one way or another from the age of 4 to 20. I was well versed in the Bible. I had always loved and appreciated religious study. I was a "believer".

When I met my husband, I had just graduated from Dunbarton College of Holy Cross in Washington, D.C. I was starting life on my own as an adult. I wondered what my religious life would be like after a lifetime of school routines with regular religious classes and weekly Mass.
I was disappointed at the thought of Sunday Mass being the sole extent of my religious practice. That didn't seem like enough for me. I had felt for a long time that Religion needed to be a part of everyday life, not just for Sundays. I had never questioned the Catholic Church. I was a firm believer. I had no reason to doubt what I had been taught. I had never been encouraged to question it, quite the opposite. I had every respect for it but, at the same time, I had been taught to "think" and "reason". That enabled me to ask questions about Brian's religion - one I had never even heard of. I was curious of what it entailed.

What I have since learned and experienced is that there is so much more than what I had been taught. I have come to know that there are beautiful parts of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that had been lost over the years, since the time of Christ. Once the Apostles and disciples of Jesus Christ died or were martyred, Gospel doctrines began to be altered by men. Doctrines were removed, Doctrines were changed, and new ideas were introduced over time.

But, I am getting ahead of myself. I want to share how my conversion happened. There were very specific events and a process that led up to my baptism. I'll explain the first experience ...

Why I Believe - Part 2, pure doctrine

My first experience with the “restored” Gospel of Jesus Christ came when I asked Brian what were his beliefs. We had just started dating and I had hoped he was a good Catholic boy. It went in another direction.

After our first few dates I was anxious to know Brian’s religion, thinking if he were Catholic, it could continue on a good path, even to a more serious relationship. I was very taken back when he said he was a Mormon. I hadn’t a clue what that meant. I had only heard of the Choir, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and had little understanding of what that was.

I clearly remember my experience when I asked him what he believed in. His response was this: We believe in God the Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost (so far, so good. So did I.) He then added, “We believe they are three separate beings; three Beings with one purpose.” That purpose, I later found out, was to bring about the great "Plan of Salvation" also known as the great "Plan of Happiness".

As I pondered that thought, something very special happened. As I pondered the description of the Godhead, a powerful feeling went through my entire being and my mind “expanded”. Something changed inside me. I realized that I understood there were indeed three separate beings. It made complete sense. In fact, it is very simple. That was the beginning of my closer connection with God, my Heavenly Father.

I marveled at this new knowledge that had come into my life for days, weeks and months. It made me want to know more. Since then, I have come to know who I am, why I am here, and what happens when I die. I think everyone must ask themselves these basic questions at sometime in their life. I find the details better explained here in the "Plan of Happiness". [Please check it out.]

I have also come to know that Jesus Christ lives. He is truly our Savior and advocate with our Father in Heaven. Because of His Atonement, I find I can be free from the guilt and pains of my mistakes. I think we all look for that. I know He has provided the way for each of us to obtain the gift of Eternal Life - that of living with God, the Father, forever.

But how do we really know this is all true? That is where the Holy Spirit comes in. I have come to know that the Holy Spirit is able to give us feelings and impressions in our hearts and minds that will enable us to know for sure these things are true. I needed to humbly and truly want to know with all my heart what the truth is. I had to sincerely ask in prayer with all the energy of my heart. I could not be critical or judgmental of these lessons. Recognizing "truth" comes when we can know something in our minds and also feel it in our hearts. Then the miracle began, the miracle of receiving a certainty that these things are indeed true. The feeling I had when I learned the truth about the Godhead was a powerful one, one I felt through my whole being. That was the Holy Spirit confirming the truth to me. It was real. It changed my life.

Next, the second step of my conversion.

Why I Believe - Part 3, Joseph Smith

I wanted to know more about this Gospel that had so far touched me deeply. I was introduced to the story of the modern day prophet, Joseph Smith. There are countless religious leaders today claiming this and that. What made this story so unique? The answer is simple, I found it to be true.
I read the story of this young boy, at age 14 [born 1805], hungering to know what Church he should join? Which of all the churches was the "right" one. He had been raised up with the Bible, in a family that cherished it, read it, and taught it to their children. Joseph was familiar with the Bible. [His complete story in his own words can be found in the Joseph Smith-History]

As he read the Bible one day, he found the verse in the Epistle of James 1:5 which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
In his own words, his reaction was this: "Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know..."
Joseph realized he needed to follow the admonition of James and ask God what he should do. One beautiful spring morning he went to a grove of trees nearby where he could privately pray vocally to God.
His own words describe best what happened next: "I saw a pillar of light, exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which decended gradually until it rested up me... When the light fell upon me I saw two Personages whose brightness and glory defy all description standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other, 'This is My Beloved Son, Hear Him!' "

Imagine! Joseph literally saw God, the Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ! And the Father spoke the words He had said at other times such as at Christ's baptism by immersion by John [Matt 3:17] And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. And at the Transfiguration of Christ, as recorded by Matthew, Mark, Luke and Peter: [Matt 17: 5] While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.
Joseph received an answer to his question concerning the churches of the day. He was told to join none of them and in part was told, "...they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”

Afterwards, Joseph, found he received a great deal of prejudice against himself for telling his experience with the Diety to others in his community. He was misunderstood and misjudged. He compared himself to the experiences of the Apostle Paul. In his words, "However, it was nevertheless a fact that I had beheld a vision. I have thought since, that I felt much like Paul, when he made his defense before King Agrippa, and related the account of the vision he had when he saw a light, and heard a voice; but still there were but few who believed him; some said he was dishonest, others said he was mad; and he was ridiculed and reviled. But all this did not destroy the reality of his vision. He had seen a vision, he knew he had, and all the persecution under heaven could not make it otherwise; and though they should persecute him unto death, yet he knew, and would know to his latest breath, that he had both seen a light and heard a voice speaking unto him, and all the world could not make him think or believe otherwise." [See Acts 26 for the Bible reference of Paul's story]

At this point, Joseph had my attention because I have always loved the story of Paul. He was a convert to the Gospel of Jesus Christ; he had received a personal witness of the Savior, and spent the rest of his life going about preaching, teaching and strengthening the Church.

And so, to continue in Joseph's words, "So it was with me. I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation."

It was this last quote of Joseph that touched my heart, once more, very deeply. I "knew" in my heart and mind that his story was true. I knew it, I knew God knew it, and I realized I would offend God as well, if I were to deny it. And so I became a believer of Joseph Smith as a modern day Prophet of God. Joseph's experience with God, the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, has helped me develop a much greater relationship with both the Father and the Son. Personal prayer to the Father, in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ, seems to connect with the Almighty and answers come [through the Holy Spirit]. I'm so grateful for this in my life, every day.

Joseph was given a work to do, that of "restoring" the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as it had been in the days of Christ's ministry upon the earth. And that is what he did.
Next, more evidence....

Why I Believe - Part 4, the Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon is a book of scripture that was translated by Joseph Smith from "golden plates" from the ancient Americas. The plates were written in ancient Egyptian.
I was given a "Book of Mormon" as a gift. I studied it and discovered for myself what the contents were about. I found it to be "a second witness" of Jesus Christ. The introduction of the Book makes that clear: The Book of Mormon is a volume of holy scripture comparable to the Bible. It is a record of God’s dealings with the ancient inhabitants of the Americas and contains, as does the Bible, the fulness of the everlasting gospel. It is another testament of Jesus Christ.

This book complements the Bible in many ways. There are doctrines found here that are clearly explained. I have found that the Lord ways are very clear, He gives commandments and they are always followed by a "promise" if we keep them. And I have learned from experience that the Lord keeps His promises.

The Book of Mormon records Christ's visit to the ancient people of the Americas following His Resurrection. This explained to me a big question I had always had in the Bible. John recorded Christ's words in [John 10:16] And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.
Who were these other sheep? What did He mean by that?
The people in the Book of Mormon are the "sheep" Christ was talking about! Christ is the Good Shepherd. All of His children on the earth that hear His voice are His sheep. It made complete sense to me.
I now have read this Book over 25 times in my life. I try to read some of it every day because I always feel better afterwards. I usually learn something I didn't realize before or I just feel closer to the Lord and feel happier. It brings me peace. I love this Book because it has taught me so much about God. I love it like I love the Bible. And as our lives change the applications of the lessons affect us differently.

There is a wonderful promise from the Lord made at the end of the Book in the last chapter that is for everyone who wants to know the truthfulness of this Book. The Lord says that "...when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." [Moroni 10:4,5]

I recommend it to you.

Why I Believe - Part 5 - the beautiful promises of the Temple

I think the strongest motivation I had in joining the Church was the promises of the Temple. In the Temple covenants [promises between the Lord and us] are made that effect us for all eternity. Here in lies the promise of an "eternal marriage". I think that was the biggest surprise for me. All my life I had heard and understood that marriage between a man and a woman was "until death do us part". That always struck me as sad. I wondered how a couple could live their entire lives together and then be done. That just didn't seem right to me. Lo and behold, I found in the LDS Church the promise of "eternal marriage". This is a doctrine that had been lost from the original Church of Christ and is now restored. Man and woman can be married for all time and eternity by the proper priesthood authority. Children that come into the marriage are "sealed" to them for all eternity.
I was deeply moved that God could promise me a marriage to Brian that would last for ALL eternity. That was what I wanted more than anything. Because the Temple sealings of families links the generations, I know I will see my parents again and we will always be "family". There is no other place on earth that can make that promise from God.
The Temple is the most reverent and most sacred place on earth. It is a "house of God". Each person that goes into it must be worthy to be there. No unworthy person can go in. That is why it is restricted to worthy members of the Church. It saddens me greatly to know that the "world" has found a way to mock even our most sacred temples today. Reverence for holy things is all but lost in the world, it seems to me.

Finally, baptism...how it came about.

Why I Believe ...Baptism.

It was quite a while before I was actually baptized. I had never anticipated making such a big change and commitment in my life. I needed to be sure. I had lots of fears at the time. I worried deeply about my relationship with my parents and family. I should have known that the Lord would know when I was ready and help me with each step.
I continued to attend Church with my husband each Sunday. It always felt good to me. There was peace there. I found good associations as well. One Sunday morning, I had another profound experience that prepared the way for me to be baptized. I was watching the members very closely as they met with one another. I saw how concerned and interested they were for one another. It was a sincere and loving interest for each other. In a moment, the Holy Spirit touched my heart and mind and I had a flashback to my childhood days. At that moment, I vividly remembered a time in a classroom in grade school where we were studying the New Testament. The exact scripture was John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. The teacher said at the time that this was a sign of the "true" Church.
I remembered that, at that moment in time, when I was quite a young girl, a "still, small voice" [the Holy Spirit] helped me understand that I needed to remember this lesson about this "love for one another". It would be a sign of the true Church of Christ. This experience did not cause me doubts at the time because I was so young and I didn't really understand it. But it made a deep impression on my mind and heart and I always remembered it.
Then, here before me this one morning I was witnessing this "love for one another". Truly these people had it if any people did. I had had many experiences with the kindnesses and nonjudgmental love of these people for me, an outsider. I had felt nothing but acceptance among my associations here. I had witnessed tender fathers with their children and wives and marveled at their family relationships.
And so it was this Sunday morning, I felt a comfirmation in my heart, once again, that deeply penetrating feeling, a surety, that I was indeed in the right place. I now knew for sure that these people were disciples of Christ. It was a "sign" to me that it was His Church.

A short time after this experience we invited a missionary couple to come to our home to teach me the basic lessons of the Gospel. I had hesitated taking these lessons for a very long time because of my family and my fear of the pain I would cause them. Now was my moment of truth and it was time to deal with it.
During one of the lessons, I received a deep impression of the choice I was facing. We were studying a scripture that was profound for me. I never looked back after this experience. The scripture was Matthew 19:29, in which Christ said, "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. "
Here lay my dilemma! My choice was between my God and my parents. It was that simple. It was a moment of truth. I knew in my heart what I needed to do. I needed to trust and believe in the Lord and His promises. I saw what my priorities needed to be. I had received the personal witnesses to know it was true. I needed to 'act'. I needed to take that "leap of faith" and commit to baptism. Somehow I knew if I put the Lord first, everything else would fall into place. And it did.
I was baptized 35 years ago this past February. I was 24 years old at the time and had been married for a year and a half. The Lord kept His part. I have indeed received "an hundredfold" and more. The Lord has known the my "heart's desires" and so many times they have been granted. The Lord has more than compensated me for any sacrifices I may have made. My blessings are many. I am eternally grateful. It is why I feel I must share my story now.

My parents weren't very happy, I'm sure they were extremely disappointed in me. They supported me. They didn't disown me. My father said he had done his best to give me a good education. He looked at this experience as "another" education. My mother did ask me not to tell my relatives. I know it must have scared her what they might think. I think she worried they would think she had not been a good Catholic parent. That wasn't true.
We stayed close. After my father passed away, my mother moved to Salt Lake City to be near us and eventually moved in with us and lived in our home for 12 years. Our four children were very young at the time she moved in. She never wanted to discuss religion but she lived among us and we lived our religion. She saw and felt the good. She knew the good. It was a blessed time for all of us.
My baptism and confirmation into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has made a profound difference in my life. I have felt the "gift of the Holy Spirit" all through our married years and the years of raising our children. Understandings have come to me that helped me avoid bad mistakes in dealing with my family and others. The scriptures were "opened up" to my mind and I gained new understandings and insights into the workings of God among men. I came to know how much He loves us and is willing to bless us. I know that keeping the commandments is still the first law of His kingdom. This is how He blesses us. When we do our part, He does His. Christ truly is the "rock". I know He lives today and that He is the foundation that each of us needs. I know these things are true. I leave them with you, in the name of Jesus Christ.

And I ask you, if you have had a good feeling while reading this story or have developed questions, I invite you to find out more. You can call 1-888-537-6600 or search through www.mormon.org . And of course, feel free to leave your comments on this blog.
~ Carol Brennan Moss